Finding Love ... the real stuff

Love ... something every person on the face of the planet desires. Something we all need whether we believe it or not.

Unfortunately, many young girls grow up without healthy male role models and they end up seeking love and attention from the opposite sex, often times, doing things that compromise their emotional, physical, and spiritual well being. Hungry for approval, teenagers and young women end up compromising themselves all in the name of love.

A "side effect" to this searching for love is often sexual relationships resulting in pregnancy.

Becoming pregnant is often the wake up call that rings loud enough get a girl's attention. Despite cases of women refusing to accept their pregnancies, a majority of pregnant women quickly discover and accept that they are indeed "with child." Then comes the whole "now what?" syndrome.

When a woman comes to Bethany House, at least 95% of the time, she has experienced a lack of healthy love, and, has more often than not, used her sexuality to obtain love and affection. For the most part, the other half of this equation -- the man -- has vanished from her life or is far from enthusiastic about becoming a daddy.

While at Bethany House, women are nurtured, loved, and supported in a way that allows them to regain or find hope for future relationships. They learn to identify the painful patterns that have held them captive, leading to the cycle of one broken heart after another. The staff works to gently guide and direct the residents to make better choices in the relationship department. This is no easy task. But it's possible, and it happens.

We are amazed, years later, when clients return to share the major changes they've experienced in the quality of their relationships. We are honored to attend weddings where former residents have made healthy choices and are marrying men that value and adore both them and their children. Wow! That's exciting.

It's our hope that you will discover that Bethany House accomplishes so much more than providing food, shelter, and supplies for single pregnant women, we provide the tools that help these women to rebuild their lives one step at a time.

Won't you join us?

After all, nothing compares to helping heal a broken heart and provide the neccessities for a young mom and her infant. We know. We've been doing it for two decades, now. We can't do it alone. Visit www.bethanyhousenet.org to learn more and partner with us.

Teen Pregnancies on the Rise ... again

The statistics are in. Teen pregnancies are again up. There is a new surge of young, single, expecting women in our country. For years, the USA has remained at the top of the list for teen pregnancies. That is one result that hasn’t changed.

So, what’s happening? There are a number of theories floating around out there. Some point to Hollywood and the popular films like Juno and Knocked Up. Others believe teaching abstinence has failed and that more sex education is required to combat this increasing trend. While another group points back to Hollywood and the growing number of single, famous, stars, many very young, who are choosing motherhood.

Another group believes all the accommodations made for single mothers has made the option more attractive for school-aged teens who now have options like onsite school daycare at their disposal.

Okay, I’m no statistical expert, but I’ve worked with single, pregnant women for some time now, and there is one thing in common. These girls are heart hungry. At Bethany House, we have monitored this situation for close to twenty years. Over 90% of our residents come from some form of past abuse. Many are missing a healthy father’s love and a majority lacked strong guidance and love from their mothers. They also falsely believe that a baby will magically “fix” their problems. Here’s a sampling of statements that we’ve heard over the years:

I didn’t think I could get pregnant.
I thought he’d (the boyfriend) would stay with me.
I thought he’d stop hurting me.
I wanted someone to love and need me. Me!
I was using drugs (or drinking) and didn’t take care of myself. I got pregnant.
I thought he’d marry me.
I wanted to start a family, not like my family, but better.

As you can see, these statements reflect a very self-centered ideal. Somehow, someway, a baby will be the glue that holds things together, the one thing that will truly love and make the woman feel better. Others have somehow believed the age-old teenage lie: it won’t happen to me! While many, caught up in the party life have failed to plan for much of anything, let alone a pregnancy.

Recently, I read about a group of girls at a small high school that purposefully tried to get pregnant. They somehow believed that a baby would be the answer to life’s problems, their problems.

When we see stars like Nicole Richie and Jamie Lynn Spears plastered on magazine covers holding their swaddled little darlings close, well, it looks good. It makes motherhood appear glamorous, even easy. For those of us longtime moms we can attest that glamour is not a big part of the parenting process.

I believe the best way for readers to learn about why’s, what’s, and because’s of teen pregnancy is to hear from the mom’s themselves. Check back soon. We will begin posting stories about the Bethany House girls and what led them to motherhood.