Holiday Babies

If you're wondering where we've been, the answer is simple -- helping two new moms with their newborn babies. I consider that an acceptable reason for not blogging.

The lovely mom picture above is Mary, and her new daughter, Bethlehem, Beth for short. Perfect holiday names! Right now, I'd like to share a brief summary of Mary's story. I hope you enjoy. I'm sure you'll discover why Bethany House is so important to the community.

Our very own Mary was born and raised in Ethiopia, Addis Ababa. Although a poor country, Mary was able to attend school. As a young adult, eager to embrace a better life, she entered a lottery that would allow her to immigrate to the US. Mary “won” one of those coveted spots and arrived here in March. She hadn’t been traveling alone, though. Unbeknownst to her, she was carrying a baby inside.

Her pregnancy was a tremendous shock. Pregnant without a husband, in her country, is absolutely unacceptable. Now, not only is Mary ashamed - She is in a foreign county. She has very limited English skills. Her condition has placed her in a financial dilemma with no way to obtain employment. Uncertain what to do, she confided in one person, who confided in yet another, who knew about Bethany House. This person made the call to inquire about Mary entering the program. During the initial interview it was obvious just how much Mary needed the assistance and acceptance Bethany House offered. She was literally lost with no one to help.

While at Bethany House, Mary has grown immensely and in so many ways. Her language skills have improved. The family like environment and her commitment to taking ESL classes have helped this process. She has gained a greater understanding of American culture, including how to navigate public transportation! She has become a much more confident woman, and all in time for the arrival of her precious daughter, Bethlehem. Yes, Mary and baby Bethlehem.

Beth - for short - was delivered via an emergency C-section on 11/14/08, weighing in at 6 lb 12 ounces. Both mom and baby are thriving. Thank goodness they are here!

Right now, Little Beth is receiving so much love from her own enat (Amharic for mother). Let us celebrate this happy new beginning.

Teen Pregnancies on the Rise ... again

The statistics are in. Teen pregnancies are again up. There is a new surge of young, single, expecting women in our country. For years, the USA has remained at the top of the list for teen pregnancies. That is one result that hasn’t changed.

So, what’s happening? There are a number of theories floating around out there. Some point to Hollywood and the popular films like Juno and Knocked Up. Others believe teaching abstinence has failed and that more sex education is required to combat this increasing trend. While another group points back to Hollywood and the growing number of single, famous, stars, many very young, who are choosing motherhood.

Another group believes all the accommodations made for single mothers has made the option more attractive for school-aged teens who now have options like onsite school daycare at their disposal.

Okay, I’m no statistical expert, but I’ve worked with single, pregnant women for some time now, and there is one thing in common. These girls are heart hungry. At Bethany House, we have monitored this situation for close to twenty years. Over 90% of our residents come from some form of past abuse. Many are missing a healthy father’s love and a majority lacked strong guidance and love from their mothers. They also falsely believe that a baby will magically “fix” their problems. Here’s a sampling of statements that we’ve heard over the years:

I didn’t think I could get pregnant.
I thought he’d (the boyfriend) would stay with me.
I thought he’d stop hurting me.
I wanted someone to love and need me. Me!
I was using drugs (or drinking) and didn’t take care of myself. I got pregnant.
I thought he’d marry me.
I wanted to start a family, not like my family, but better.

As you can see, these statements reflect a very self-centered ideal. Somehow, someway, a baby will be the glue that holds things together, the one thing that will truly love and make the woman feel better. Others have somehow believed the age-old teenage lie: it won’t happen to me! While many, caught up in the party life have failed to plan for much of anything, let alone a pregnancy.

Recently, I read about a group of girls at a small high school that purposefully tried to get pregnant. They somehow believed that a baby would be the answer to life’s problems, their problems.

When we see stars like Nicole Richie and Jamie Lynn Spears plastered on magazine covers holding their swaddled little darlings close, well, it looks good. It makes motherhood appear glamorous, even easy. For those of us longtime moms we can attest that glamour is not a big part of the parenting process.

I believe the best way for readers to learn about why’s, what’s, and because’s of teen pregnancy is to hear from the mom’s themselves. Check back soon. We will begin posting stories about the Bethany House girls and what led them to motherhood.