Sunday, July 27, 2008

Teen Pregnancies on the Rise ... again


The statistics are in. Teen pregnancies are again up. There is a new surge of young, single, expecting women in our country. For years, the USA has remained at the top of the list for teen pregnancies. That is one result that hasn’t changed.

So, what’s happening? There are a number of theories floating around out there. Some point to Hollywood and the popular films like Juno and Knocked Up. Others believe teaching abstinence has failed and that more sex education is required to combat this increasing trend. While another group points back to Hollywood and the growing number of single, famous, stars, many very young, who are choosing motherhood.

Another group believes all the accommodations made for single mothers has made the option more attractive for school-aged teens who now have options like onsite school daycare at their disposal.

Okay, I’m no statistical expert, but I’ve worked with single, pregnant women for some time now, and there is one thing in common. These girls are heart hungry. At Bethany House, we have monitored this situation for close to twenty years. Over 90% of our residents come from some form of past abuse. Many are missing a healthy father’s love and a majority lacked strong guidance and love from their mothers. They also falsely believe that a baby will magically “fix” their problems. Here’s a sampling of statements that we’ve heard over the years:

I didn’t think I could get pregnant.
I thought he’d (the boyfriend) would stay with me.
I thought he’d stop hurting me.
I wanted someone to love and need me. Me!
I was using drugs (or drinking) and didn’t take care of myself. I got pregnant.
I thought he’d marry me.
I wanted to start a family, not like my family, but better.


As you can see, these statements reflect a very self-centered ideal. Somehow, someway, a baby will be the glue that holds things together, the one thing that will truly love and make the woman feel better. Others have somehow believed the age-old teenage lie: it won’t happen to me! While many, caught up in the party life have failed to plan for much of anything, let alone a pregnancy.

Recently, I read about a group of girls at a small high school that purposefully tried to get pregnant. They somehow believed that a baby would be the answer to life’s problems, their problems.

When we see stars like Nicole Richie and Jamie Lynn Spears plastered on magazine covers holding their swaddled little darlings close, well, it looks good. It makes motherhood appear glamorous, even easy. For those of us longtime moms we can attest that glamour is not a big part of the parenting process.

I believe the best way for readers to learn about why’s, what’s, and because’s of teen pregnancy is to hear from the mom’s themselves. Check back soon. We will begin posting stories about the Bethany House girls and what led them to motherhood.



Monday, July 14, 2008

Bethany House welcomes new residents

Picture of Tonya and baby Jozlyn.


Today, Bethany House is almost full to it's capacity. We currently have three young ladies --Jennifer and Mary, both of whom are approximately four months pregnant, and Tonya, who is the mother of 4 month old Jozlyn.


Jennifer is one of our newest young ladies. At barely 18 years old, like many teenagers, Jennifer found herself pregnant. The day before Jennifer graduated High School, with the sudden and unexpected news of her pregnancy, she found herself, homeless, as she was no longer allowed to reside in her families' home.


Upon arriving at Bethany House, Jennifer started spending her mornings volunteering at our local branch of Loaves and Fishes, where she has quickly became known and appreciated as being a very hard worker. Jennifer enjoys helping out others at Loaves and Fishes and likes meeting the people who come for lunch, as well as, getting to know those she volunteers with. She also helps to pack and prepare meals to be delivered.

Besides volunteering, Jennifer is actively making every effort to find a paying job. This is not an easy task for a very young and pregnant woman, fresh out of High School, with some learning limitations, who with each Doctor's appointment is finding that she is further along than expected. In the few short weeks that Jennifer has resided at Bethany House, she has gone from being due in January, to expecting a Christmas baby, and, finally, with her ultrasound complete, is now looking at having a Thanksgiving baby.

Knowing that someday, sooner than thought (and definitely sooner than any of us expected) she will be the mother of a baby who will be completely dependent on her for everything, Jennifer has a mixture of emotions. But, she's working to prepare herself, as we are, for the task ahead that comes with great blessings, as well as tons of responsibility.


Another resident, Mary, has only been with us for a very short amount of time. Mary is a very gentle and kind young lady, who arrived to the US from Africa just a few months ago. It is amazing watching her natural charisma and abilities with children. Mary never hesitates to take the opportunity to hold and play with Tonya's little Jozlyn. Tonya is totally relaxed and confident with Mary, allowing Jozlyn to bask in her love and attention.


Mary is a very smart young lady, who had attended almost two years of university (in the area of business administration) before having the opportunity to come to the United States. Much to her surprise, she discovered right after leaving Africa that she was pregnant. Mary is currently working on her english skills, putting to use the skills she learned in school. However, speaking the language is a new challenge. But, Mary is very quick and is she is improving rapidly. She is excited about finding a job so that she can support herself and her child, when he/she is born. She is a fun and extremely interesting addition to Bethany House. As far as we know, Mary is expecting her baby in December. But who knows? Like Jennifer discovered, those ultrasounds can reveal a whole new story.

We'll keep you posted on Jennifer and Mary's progress in the days ahead.


Tonya, our long-term resident, has become an absolutely wonderful mother, not an easy task with Tonya's upbringing and past. See her story:
http://www.bethanyhousenet.org/testimony_tonya.php

Tonya is also an absolutely tired mommy and is the perfect example of why Bethany House allows young mothers to stay for an extended period of time after the birth of their baby. As soon as she was able to find a job, Tonya began working. While she was only given approximately 10 hours a week, at the start, God blessed Tonya with a babysitter who would not only watch her little one at no charge, but who would also save her having to take the bus to and from her job. And, as wonderful as that sounds, Tonya is still a single mother who is not only trying to take care of a baby who has dealt with a number of medical issues. Also, Tonya has gone from having one part-time job, to two jobs, as after proving herself on her first job, Tonya was given the opportunity at a full time, supervisory position in a nearby store, (with the recommendation of the manager from her first job, and isn't that an awesome story, in itself?)

There's not another mother who can't relate to the tiredness that a young mom experiences, and while Tonya knows first-hand what a blessing a baby can be, she also knows that they are not a temporary pleasure or a part-time job, nor does she have the luxury or support of a life-partner. Like every mom, she has discovered motherhood is full-time, permanent position. We are thankful that although Tonya is exhausted, she has embraced her new and most important job: Motherhood.

Helping Bethany House help moms like Jennifer, Mary, and Tonya can be a joy and challenge. Programs like ours always need funding. If you feel called to partner with us, you are welcome to donate online at
http://www.bethanyhousenet.org/ or call: 503.667.8409

Sunday, July 13, 2008

New and Improved Bethany House Journal

Welcome to the new Bethany House Blog!


For those of you who are new to our site, welcome. Bethany House is one of oldest maternity programs in the Pacific Northwest. For over twenty years, we have been serving single, pregnant, girls who have nowhere to turn.

For many women, a pregnancy is an exciting moment. It's like receiving a special delivery in your mailbox. You can't wait for the gift to arrive.

Unfortunately, this incredible blessing is more like a nightmare for an unprepared woman who sees her pregancy as an unexpected detour in life.

Bethany House helps women make the transition from confused girl to mature mom.

We help women embrace the tangible skills needed to raise a child, as well as, help them manage those other not-so-concreate things -- emotions. Many of our residents have been abused, neglected, and addicted to drugs and alcohol. Often times, these young women have been homeless or have lived in poverty. They have been forced to halt their educations. Bethany House gives these young women a safe place away from any abusive relationships, allowing them to make better choices and set goals for their futures.

You may not agree with their past decisions, but the fact remains that single moms make up a huge percentage of our population. These women need our help and support. Their children deserve a future filled with love, protection, and hope. Bethany House helps provide those very things.

We hope you will visit regularly to learn more about our program and the personal stories of our women. You will amazed by the miraculous changes that take place in these women's hearts and ultimately in their lives.

Please take a peek at our previous blog (we will not be posting there any longer) and our website.

http://bethanyhousegresham.wordpress.com/

http://www.bethanyhousenet.org/index.html